That felt good and it was a long time coming.
For a few months now I've felt like I had this stress that could not be relieved. I knew what it was, but I wasn't ready.
This past week it became too much.
Day after day of readers I liked saying nasty things to me; numerous people were telling me they were leaving and not coming back.
When someone tells you they are leaving and not coming back, it is always a predecessor of growth. It would start all over again, and just get bigger and bigger.
I was exhausted. I didn't want more growth.
I had gotten used to the haters. They were pretty stupid; I wrote them off as willfully ignorant. In the same comment they would tell me I was stubborn, arrogant, unwilling to change or admit I was wrong, while declaring that I contradict myself SO MUCH, citing examples of how I did things one way here, then changed my mind, denouncing that way of doing things and deciding to do it a different way some where else. What the frig?! Maybe they were pulling my leg, because it is hard to believe that people are that stupid.
It wasn't the people that I thought were idiots that drove me to shut down the blog, it was the people that I liked.
I had been asking Dan all week if we could shut it down yet. He said I had good things to say, things that people needed to hear, that I should give it more time.
Finally, on Sunday, I hit my limit. I begged Dan to let me shut it down. He saw how exhausted I was and conceded.
Then I reconsidered... and thought maybe I could keep it.
I went to church uncertain.
Our pastor is doing a series on fear and each week I've been moved to trust God more deeply, fearlessly.
This week it was about money. I had made a combined income of close to $1500 in February. I knew God was our safety net, but I wanted an extra safety net as well. God was telling me to trust him and only him, so I did.
I'll still write here maybe once a week, and I want to continue to be the Wednesday contributor at Frugal Hacks, so I'm not going into hiding. I'm still here, sharing my ideas.